Big news in the Star Wars universe! Disney is buying Lucasfilm and George Lucas is retiring. Of course Disney plans to exploit the crap out of the Star Wars franchise and they will be making new films, and shirts, theme park rides, comics, underwear, coffins, welcome mats, plush toys, dental fillings, baby wipes, shoe polish, floor wax, push up bras, rectal thermometers, and more!
Good or Bad?
Does this mean: “Eeeewww Disney Star Wars, it’s gonna be terrible!”
Or: “Yay Lucas is retiring, it has a chance to be good!!”
You decide.
The Next SW Film
The next film will be called Star Wars Episode 7, due out in 2015. Will we see an old Luke fighting alongside his older dad Darth Vader against some new foe? Will Han and Leia’s son be some new hero/smuggler/jedi? Will Jabba the Hut grow bigger and bigger engulfing the entire galaxy? Who knows? Who cares? Star Wars hasn’t been worth a crap since The Empire Strikes Back, over 30 years ago. I’m still mad at Lucas for pissing off the 15 year old me when Return of the Jedi was released. Damn you Lucas!!!
PRESS RELEASE
Global leader in high-quality family entertainment agrees to acquire world-renowned Lucasfilm Ltd, including legendary STAR WARS franchise.
Acquisition continues Disney’s strategic focus on creating and monetizing the world’s best branded content, innovative technology and global growth to drive long-term shareholder value.
Lucasfilm to join company’s global portfolio of world class brands including Disney, ESPN, Pixar, Marvel and ABC.
STAR WARS: EPISODE 7 feature film targeted for release in 2015.
UPDATE:
My crazy ideas ain’t so crazy!
Rumor from i09.com:
Disney wants to bring Darth Vader back. The U.K. tabloid, The Express, quotes an industry source as saying, “He’s an integral part of the franchise. Replacing him is virtually impossible. The plan is for him to return and play a significant role in the new films.”
Umm…I’m no huge Star Wars fanboy–I’d never go to a convention or anything, but…
It is pretty obvious that whoever wrote this has never seen any of the movies. Darth Vader dies in Return of the Jedi (episode 4), and so does Jabba the Hut. Somehow, this website has found the one person who has not actually seen the films to write this dumb article.
Vader’s spirit is right there at the end bro. And they were jokes…and I don’t remember the shitty post Empire SW movies. Didn’t even see Ep. 3 (after 1 and 2? no thanks). Cool job showing your geek powers though.